having just been given £30,000 compensation by the anglican church in the UK following sexual abuse by one of their clergymen 30years ago as a young adult, I'm left pondering what the purpose of it is? I wanted Justice and although i had confronted my Abuser (Now in Florida)about ten years ago and discovered at least three women were also abused the church had never much helped me up until now. I eventually got him out of ministry.
So am i happy about this 'compensation'?'compensation' is not the word to use, more like proof of acknowledgement. thats all.
It's dofficult to say much about my very ambivalent feelings?. At first I was, I felt relief that the Anglican Church appeared to recognise my trauma without too much hassle. But when the caveat was made "if you want more we'll have get all your medical files and have you assessed ", I felt "you want to 'strip' me again?!
I was not prepared for that, I felt it was blackmail. Designed to frighten me and cause me to stop asking. I still feel that the process validated what I'd gone through but does'nt amount to 'repairing the damage'.
so was it worth it? yes, if only to continue to raise awareness of adult women being sexually exploited. to confront the hiararchies, leadership, to support other victims, and to reclaim your integrity.
none of this means i am 'happy' about this token payment as it does'nt nearly reflect either the trauma or costs of my therapy fees over the years.
but i do feel vindicated and of course it says "we believe you" which is actually the thing that is so useful to have.
I'm not out to crucify the Anglican Church but to threaten that a medical examination (psychiatry!!) would ensue if I asked for more or to ask us to submit to more intrusion in our lives is unjust.it hardly speaks of care.
what do people think? what do you think churches should do for victims?
